writing & the western world

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the deep personal shit / thought post

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”
– Albus Dumbledore

So, hi.

This is not going to be a long post, or at least I’m not planning for it to be. I don’t really know what I’m planning this post to be, though, so I can’t actually promise anything. I guess I wanted to tell you a bit about myself and my silly dreams. Just so you kind of know what I’m all about. Because you see: I like words, and I like thoughts. Or… I don’t like thoughts. It’s all really complicated, even though I keep telling myself that I’m not. But you know, everything’s actually complicated if you think enough about them; you should just focus on the simple things and then stop there, because if you look pass them and start wondering, I assure you: It’ll be confusing. Anyway, I told you I like words, so that’s basically why I have a blog. I don’t know why anyone would actually read and care about the stuff I’m going to write in here. Reality is that I’m just another young girl with some thought about life, and who she wants to be. That’s mainly what I’m going to write. The truth is, that I am very confused about who I am and who I want to be. I think I want to be a good person, but that’s a big thing to want to be, right? It probably doesn’t make sense, but if I tell you I want to drive around the world in a truck with a camera, a notebook and a group of friends, without having a worry in the world, that kind of tells you what I’m dreaming of. I’d like to have no strings attached what so ever, to the world I live in right now, no responsibilities. Just this road ahead and a person by my side whom I can really, like really trust.

Would you believe me if I said it’s kind of tough to be a young, quiet teen girl in the rich, modern, western world? Probably not, and of course not in the same way as young women has it other places in the world, but I think we girls from here, often look pass how good our lives actually is. I see that very often in myself. We’re like crazy connected to the online life and popularity and accept and it bothers me, but on the other half I’m deeply sucked into it myself. ‘Cause who hasn’t looked at someone and judged them without knowing who they were at all. Who hasn’t been at their high school, wanting new friends, but not that kind of friends another kind of friends. Do you get me? Like, you want to be with the “right” people. You don’t have to lie to yourself, either you’ve felt that way or you’re one of those different types that people’s scared to be with.

They shouldn’t be though.

I shouldn’t either, but I’ll admit I do it. That’s the thing with me. I know a lot of things, but for some reason I can’t seem to convince myself to do them. That’s mainly what my blog here’s for. To keep track of my thoughts, who I am, who I was, who I’m becoming and maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to help some of you guys through it as decent (or maybe not so decent) persons after all. I might seem like a big mess right now. Someone who doesn’t really know what the fick she’s writing. I do and I don’t, it just comes to me.

I’ll write as the person I want to be, and how a person I’d like to meet is. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it? To be a person you want to meet, then you shouldn’t care about any others opinion: I tend to think too much about peoples opinion… And everything else, really. For your information: I’m a over thinker. That’s a shitty thing to be, believe me, and I think everyone who knows it, thinks that too. Well, I’d love me to not be a over thinker, but that’s how god (or somebody) puzzled it all together, ain’t it? Like, that’s what you’ve got to work with, so either you change it or use it for the better. I have no idea how I change it, even though I’d like to very much. It’s tough to always think about all those stupid little things, that actually doesn’t mean anything, and twist the same thoughts and situations around in your head until you’ve pressed every single good thing about them out. yes, that’s how it is. Doesn’t sound delightful, I bet. – Sometimes is worser than others; sometimes I can’t see anything positive in the world, at all, and I get these unhealthy thoughts, you know, you’ll probably hear much more about that later.
I’ve decied to use it for the better, though, or at least I try to. It makes me quite sensible, quite creative and thoughtful. Ever since I was tiny, I’ve made up stories in my head. Maybe it’s pathetic, but stories about how I meet the love of my life, or stories where i’m the coolest shit or a famous singer. It’s not really the main topic in the stories, but the way I was able to make a background story for every single one of them. I can’t continue without the past being perfect. I’m a perfectionist, and I’m, I hope, a writer. Writing frees my mind, and I think that through writing and words, I can conquer anything.

So you see, the post got a lot longer than expected. When I let myself write, suddenly I can’t stop. What I was trying to do really, was nothing but telling you that there’s going to be a lot of writing about my everyday life and thoughts. Previews of the stories I’m writing, things I’m going through. Things I really, really, reallyyyyy want to do. ( One day I’ll write about myself driving around the world ya’ll )
All in all, every single thing that comes to mind. I hope you’re okay with it, because I’m going to write it anyway. Of course you could just skip to another blog or unfollow me or send hate (please don’t), but I’d really appreciate it, if you’d stick around and maybe read my stuff now and then, even though it isn’t about fashion and movies and music (all the time). It’s going to get deep and inspirational, I promise ahahaha. Or maybe just angry and pathetic, I don’t know. Bit of everything, I suppose.

– Anna

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The Author

I just want to live life and write about it

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